Puzzling

Salam a'laik. hai am right here again. Wuho00.. Hmm ok I would like to share something sad for this time.. wuwuw~ Am feeling so uncomfortable deep inside my heart. I am breaking peoples' heart. Am bad. BUT, I do not know how to make them satisfy enough on me. I did because I did have reasons. But I kept silent because I did not want to hear any disappointed voices. I feel so hurts either. I wish to beg for their understanding. But it is just in silent. I could not. I have no strength to say my right.

Do not know why. Am stuck by peoples' satisfaction and I broke others. Am puzzled to choose which way to go which is the best for everyone! They never understand me. They never.

I keep asking, when will be my time to make my own decision and stands freezing on my right step. sighs.

Am in this side because they need me so much! While the other side need me either. I am puzzled. I could not make them all satisfied.

Until now, I just keep silent and let them blame me. I know I was wrong to be in silent. I really have no strength to say anything for my right. I am scare. But deep inside my heart, almost every time I am thinking of how to make them happy and satisfy with me and say that I am a good girl.

I know they might say that I never think of them. I am dumping them or whatsoever. But if I could make them trust me that I am not, that would be so glad.

Few stories!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Salam Aidil Adha. Ok, memandangkan sekian lama saya tidak meng'update' cerita saya di sini so, kali ni saya punyai baaaaaanyak cerita untuk dikongsi.

Ok, firssstttt skali, raya Aidil Adha this time a few friends dah pun bertunang... wink wink. dan ada yang bakal berkahwin dalam tahun ni dan yang dah kahwin pun ade. wuuuuu~ tahun ni kira tahun diorang menamatkan zaman bujang la. hehee... wahhhh seronotttttttt! ehem sebenarnya.. saya.. ehem teringin jugakkkkkk waaaaaaaahahahaha. wink!

Actually kan.. dalam kepala saya ni dah ade design dan aturcara untuk "bakal hari" saya. Ops! (gelnya) serius! ehem ye la kan.. fitrah la kan.. semua orang pun ada willing, dreams, desires..what else? heheh. So same goes to me! Really can't wait to make it real. heheee

Cuma cepat atau lambat aje untuk dilaksanakan..wawawaaaa...sabau sabau.. belajar lebih penting!! dapatkan segulung ijazah dan baru fikirkan semuanya (ayat sedikit gud girl kn?) wink!.

Secondly, actually saya kebosanannnn... really miss to hang out with friends, share stories together, do something fun together.. huuuuu am stuck! really stuck to do what I want! I need some fun in my life. Something like a "freedom". Peoples really love me. But they never realize how screwed am I. Deep in my heart, am a happening girl but it is just in there. All I need is a bit trustworthy. Am aedy a big girl. Let me choose which road for me to go through. I know, am depending on them. That's make my mouth zipped. I just let this things happen. Just be patient and motivate myself positively. Because they love me! just that. =)

Thirdly, am haunted by a nightmare. I couldn't sleep for this few weeks (while in hostel). That was make me so stress! I had no enough sleep. Yes, I am a coward person. hahaha.. I really can not and do not want to know all about the horror's stuffs. Please never let me listen even hear to that. That will make me haunted by my feeling. huuuuuuu~ How bad isn't it?

So, am glad for being at home for this week. Ahhh so happy to be in my lovely pink room. heeee..

Fourthly, I L.O.V.E him!

Fifthly, am sleepy........ really need to lie on the bed.hehe.. I think that's all for this time. Will share something else (maybe) for next.

Good night!! Salam a'laik.

Zzzzzzz...